#106001
Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.

#106002
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

#106003
I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!

#106004
All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

#106005
When I was born, I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

#106006
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.

#106007
If you fail to prepare, then prepare to fail.

#106008
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

#106009
Never steal. The government hates competition.

#106010
I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

#106011
If you're not living life on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.

#106012
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

#106013
Love me or leave me. Hey! Where’s everybody going?

#106014
Mirrors can't talk and lucky for you they can’t laugh either!

#106999
Funny - Custom sign